Clemence Patrick, as an infant, was abandoned by his parents at what appeared to be a hospital entrance. It was in fact the doorway of the "Marco Polo Asylum for the Insane", located twenty miles north of Rome. He was adopted, raised and schooled by this institution's staff and residents. Inspired by such self proclaimed celebrity inmates as Confucius, Marquis de Sade, Joan of Arc, Napoleon, William Shakespeare, Florence Nightingale, Otto von Bismarch, Geronimo, Sigmund Frued, Mitch the Monkey Boy, Elvis and Caesar he escaped, disguised as an Italian War Hero. He worked as latrine technician and sanitational pool hair removal engineer aboard a cruise ship headed for the United States. Deserting the vessel when it docked in America he began submitting his crayoned stories (no sharp writing utensils allowed) to newspapers, magazines, and butchers without much luck.
His seemingly unorthodox upbringing is reflected in his writing and unquenchable love of cafeteria food. He brings new insights and what can only be categorised as bewildering interpretations into many arenas such as: Weight Loss, Extraterrestrial Encounters, Politics, Global Warming, Parochial Prisons, etc....
He is currently working with a friend, ‘the Mayor’, as his astrological and financial advisor and has kept in constant contact with his overseas-incarcerated comrades by intergalactic telepathy.